Monday, August 26, 2013

Each Day

At 6:38 this morning, I told Ryan that I think there is something wrong with my mind. I can't handle all  the needs, the wants.

Just minutes before, I had gone into my bedroom sobbing. All because there were too many questions from so many little people.

And I questioned myself.

Standing there in our tiny kitchen, he wrapped me in his arms. I was in a cocoon. But I could still hear and they would not quiet, and so he asked for five minutes of no questions.

Why? They asked. 

And we took five minutes. Just the man and me. And it was beautiful. It changed my day. 

I got the tire fixed and did some organizing. Mid morning, we did art and later we went to Target to pick out ice cream and the babes who are really no longer babes scooped their own flavors all melty into sugar cones. 

Even now, while my husband is still working, going on 13 hours today, I am better. 

And it occurs that maybe instead of wishing for the end of the day, if I just start the day off right, I'll enjoy the whole journey. 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013


There he is. All big and grown up. And I can hardly believe my eyes.

Even now as I type this tears are making their way to my lap. A hot mess through my makeup.

My 15 oz. 22 weeker is in kindergarten. 

Three days down and so many more to go. It feels unnatural to not know what he's doing for six hours. You all know, right? It's so hard to let go. 

We sit at the table together after school. Sipping hot cocoa with marshmallows floating in ninety degree Nevada.

He said that today he didn't play on the jungle gym because he has cerebral palsy and he couldn't do it. So he pretended he was a spy under the jungle gym. And it was really fun.

He also told me there is a boy in his class that doesn't know how to talk very well, and it was a little bit sad.  And then he said that he was going to be kind to him and be his friend. 

Under the jungle gym is a pretty great place to be.