White Flag

My text read, I need help.

That's it. 

Cryptic, right? My poor husband. But it was all I could get out. 

Everything feels big. Too big for me. And I'm being crushed by it's weight, unsure of who I am.

I'm in survival mode and have been for some time. I'm trying to come out of it...to pull myself up. 

But I can't.

I need help. It's scary and it's lonely.

But my white flag is waving.

Just write. 

R S Valentine

We have had sick babies in our house for almost two weeks. And on Monday, our sweet little August was diagnosed with RSV. 

When Sylas was little, we were scared to death of him getting RSV, so when I heard the doctor say the test was positive, I immediately thought hospital.

But no. Not August. Our tough little eating machine has held his own, and we have been able to avoid the hospital and treat him at home. Every day he is improving and yesterday was the first day he didn't need a breathing treatment in almost a week. 

Just in time. On Sunday we will be dedicating August at our church and we will spend the weekend celebrating his life. The Morrisons are coming in from Minneapolis and we'll have a big dinner with both sides of the family. 

Life has been crazy, but someday I really do need to tell you more about the baby of our family. He is the sweetest, jolliest little fella, and I'm so happy he's well.

Freeze Please

Yesterday, Ryan came home and said, I want to freeze time and go away with you for awhile.

Yes, Love. Me too. 

We don't want to hurry our kids along towards independence. We want to enjoy them in all of their neediness and enjoy each other. 

It's difficult to do both. Do you ever feel this? 

I was looking through my photo albums and found this photo Ryan took of me. It was my birthday, two days before August made his rapid arrival. And now our sweet babe is five months old.

Time. Please freeze.