When I don't post for like...ummm...weeks, I'm at a loss at where to start.
Events have happened, emotions have been felt and funny things have been said. How do I put it all in one post?
I'm often asked if this time of year is hard for me. And yes, usually it is. I dream of all the could have beens, but I'm doing okay. I feel full and happy and so very much in love with my life. I miss my babies like crazy, but the pain feels less this year.
Less pain is nice.
But it scares me. I fight feelings of guilt. Like I should always feel a wrenching pain. But as I process and reflect, I realize that I do always feel pain. And it's always deep, but the severity has lessened. My heart is not whole, and will never be fully healed on this side of Heaven.
But don't we all live with the pain of loss? This world is broken.
I know that for many of you, this will be your first Christmas without someone very dear to you.
Or it may be your 10th Christmas without a loved one, but your pain is still wrenching and you find it hard to breathe this time of year.
Like I did a couple of years ago, I want to remember with you. If you feel led, please leave a comment saying who you will be remembering this year. It would be my greatest honor to pray that your heart would find peace and be filled with joy.