And now, that place seems distant. In the darkness of that place, lying on my bed in agony, I was given the grace to take more steps toward healing.
My heart still aches. It always will. But it's less like a searing knife and more like a remembering.
I call August, Bubba. Ivy and Sylas think it's the funniest thing. Especially Ivy. She says, "Not Bubba."
Then yesterday, I heard her talking to him and it made me smile when her sweet voice said, "Hi Bubba."
Last night, August was up for more than 3 hours straight. He hasn't been awake for more than an hour at a time since his birth, so this was new.
As I sat rocking him in the chair, I wondered if that last 15 minutes before bed while he was sleeping peacefully, I should have been doing the same instead of staring in wonder at his beautiful face.