Thursday, May 27, 2010


He is an old soul in a body the size of an 18 month old. It shocks people when he opens his mouth and has a full-on conversation.

He is affectionate, stopping throughout the day to say, I love you, mommy...or daddy...or baby.

He is quick to ask a person, How ya doin? and in his eyes one can see that he really wants to know.

His smile is SUNSHINE and his tears break my heart.

He is strong and fragile...but mostly strong.

We've been having evaluations and meetings and school visits and more evaluations to see if he qualifies for early education next year. It's borderline as most of the children who qualify have significant speech and cognitive delays, and that's not him. His therapist told me she feels like she is talking to a five year old during therapy. If he qualifies, it will be for other delays...gross motor, fine motor, self-help...

I'm holding this whole school thing with a loose grasp. I'm terrified to let him go, but if it's the best thing for him, I'll conquer that fear.

He is almost 3. He is my fifth born, yet my first born. My baby, yet my oldest.

And every day, my heart is thankful.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Dive Right In

That first step, taking the plunge, walking into the unknown. It's all hard to do. Going on a cruise with mostly people I don't know was a big deal. Going snuba (kinda like scuba) diving was an even bigger deal. And leaving my husband and my children for an entire week? Well, that's just big infinity.

But we survived, all of us. I had fun, my children are alive and my husband is the best man I've ever known. He didn't SLEEP while I was gone. The house was spotless, the laundry was done and on top of working and caring for the children, he finished priming, painting and setting up my desk/creative space. IT.IS.AMAZING. and I can't wait to show you.

I feel loved, rested, sunned and ready to take that step back into normal life. You know, that life where I'm not waited on hand and foot?

It's good to be home.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Bon Voyage

I'm packed and ready to go. It's my first time going on a cruise.

I'm excited and ready for a break.


This guy is sick. So, I'm torn.

I'll see you all in a week. In the meantime, you can send @rymo some love. He'll be goin' it alone for awhile.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The View From Here

Ivy has goopy eyes and a runny nose. It's very sad, so I'm making her favorite for dinner.

Lentil Stew.

Or as Sylas likes to call it...

Money Soup.

What's on your plate?


2 tbsp. olive oil
1 chopped onion
3 cloves minced garlic
3-4 sliced carrots
2 stalks chopped celery
5 whole sun-dried tomatoes, chopped
A 6 oz. can of tomato paste
72-80 oz. vegetable broth*
1 lb. dry lentils
A 14 oz. can diced tomatoes with their juices
2 tsp. fresh oregano/1 tsp. dried
1 tbsp. fresh basil/1/2 tbsp. dried
1 tsp. kosher salt
1 tsp. pepper

Saute onions in the olive oil over medium heat, add the rest of the ingredients and bring to a boil. Turn down heat and simmer, uncovered for about an hour and half stirring occasionally.

ENJOY! Ivy sure does!

*It's cheapest to make your own veggie broth, but if that's not your thing, Trader Joes has a fairly inexpensive organic veggie broth.

P.S. This makes a HUGE pot. We always have leftovers and enough to freeze for another meal.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A Rainy Day

They woke up in a mood, my babes. Could've been the weather or getting up just a teensy bit too early. Whatever the case, they needed a nap by 10 a.m., which would have completely thrown off the day.

The perfect solution...

A dance party.

I cranked up the music, swooped Sy into my arms and jumped and twirled and jumped some more. In less than a minute, he was giggling and Ivy was at my feet begging to join us.

So she did.

Into my other arm she went and we boogied and swirled and boogied some more.

A slow song started and my babies simultaneously laid their heads down on my shoulders. And then we snuggled and swayed and snuggled some more.

The dishes stared at me with their mocking eyes, but I gladly turned away. Pieces of breakfast clung to my bare feet, but for once it didn't matter. My shoulders started to ache, but it felt so very good.

My arms are wonderfully full.

Sunday, May 9, 2010


I am a mom. To seven children. I'll always be a mom to at least seven and nothing can change that. Ever. I lived it today.

My gift from Ryan.

One circle with the names of my babies in heaven. One with the names of my babies on earth. [And there is room on that one for more. Wink, wink].

Happy Mother's Day to the mothers whose children are with them, the mothers who have lost their precious ones, and the mothers whose children are still being hoped for, but who have not yet come to be.

You are all beautiful souls.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


It's almost Mother's Day and I'm feeling it. The ache. The longing for the children I have lost.

Sometimes I fear this grief. Thinking if I ignore the pain, the pain will go away.

But it doesn't.

"The lifelong fear of grief keeps us in a barren, isolated place and only grieving can heal grief; the passage of time will lessen the acuteness, but time alone, without the direct experience of grief, will not heal it." - Anne Lamott

So I walk. I experience. Trying to be brave just one day at a time.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Here and There

May. It's here. And it's gorgeous and sun-shiny.

Along with the usual mother's day, Ryan's birthday and our anniversary that we celebrate in May, we have a busy month.

This weekend Ryan and I head to Minneapolis for his graduation ceremony, which is a really big deal. Ry was in the midst of his undergrad when I got pregnant with the sextuplets, so needless to say, school [and everything else] was put on hold for awhile. But he finished. He did it and I'm so proud.

Oh, and have I told you I'm going on a cruise in the middle of this month? I'm chaperoning my little sister's senior class trip to the Mexican Riviera. Rough, I know.

Then at the end of May, Ryan is being licensed [as a pastor] in the state of Wisconsin. Family will be in town and we'll have a grand old time.

Oh, yeah. I'm also in the middle of having my blog redesigned, so don't be alarmed if things start to look different.


Thankfully Ivy has offered to help with the cooking.