Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Wondering. Never Knowing.

I'm having a hard time keeping the sads at bay. Some days it hits me. Like a heavy cloak that I can't stand under and I fall to my knees, trembling from the pain of it all.

Last night, Ryan and I talked at length about our Lucia, Bennet, Tryg, Lincoln and Cadence. They would be almost 3.

Sylas wants purple cupcakes for his birthday. I wonder what colors his siblings would have picked.


  1. It seems to me that you should make a whole rainbow of cupcakes. The red, orange, yellow, green and blue cupcakes have all moved upward and rejoined the Creator but the purple cupcake is just for the one who remained closest to the earth to remind you of all the others daily.

    I'm sure each milestone must be bittersweet. There is so much to grieve and so much to celebrate.

  2. I love the rainbow cupcake idea! You must miss them so much. Praying for you to be able to celebrate and grieve. I'll be praying for you and Ryan.

  3. I know how hard it is to lose a child... you're in my prayers.

  4. We'll never stop, will we? The wondering, it appears in a moment and then we go on and life goes on and just when you aren't are again.
    I wonder too. xoxo

  5. Praying for you and Ryan. May your whole family find peace and joy in celebrating all their little lives.


  6. Oh Bri - I can not even imagine. Some days falling to your knees is all that is possible I'm sure. And I'm sure you have those souls around you who will pull you back up to your feet when you are ready.

    Praying for you.


  7. i cannot even imagine what it is like for you... my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family!

    however,purple cupcakes-a great choice! :)


Thank you so much for taking the time to share. I love hearing from you.

P.S. I'm sorry for the word verification step, but oh, my. I'm getting lots of spam.