Friday, March 27, 2009


I love this time of year, when all of creation is in a state of anticipation. Flowers are yearning to burst forth from the ground, trees are longing to bud and children are eager for the outdoors.

While we wait for the world to burst forth in color, we'll spend our time gazing at this little long lashed beauty.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Be Near Oh God

My heart is so heavy. Yesterday, I woke up to news that a woman in our church gave birth to her nearly full term baby girl and she was stillborn. Be near, oh God, be near. I then spent the morning with my new friend who three weeks ago lost her son. Staring into the face of a mom who lost her precious baby after only two days of life brought me back to places I don't often visit - deep, dark places where my pain is still raw. As I travel these places, sorrow's heavy cloak threatens to consume me. I'm completely broken, yet feel the Lord's presence so sweetly. Psalm 139:7-8 says, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths you are there." Be near, oh God, be near. Be near to these two sweet woman who lost their darling babes. Be near to Stellan's mommy. Be near to Jonah's mommy. Be near oh God, be near.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Twit Tweet

Ok, so I'm trying to get into this twitter thing. Ryan set up an account for me over a year ago and I've tweeted (is that the term?) once. I don't really get the whole concept, but I hear it's all the rage. My college roommate and I always used to talk about not getting stuck. We were usually referring to the fashion world and not wanting to find ourselves 40 years old and stuck in the...hmmm...00's. Anyone have any idea what we are we going to call this decade? Anyway, I'm attempting to let this grand ambition of not getting stuck trickle over into the world of technology. I still don't understand why anyone would care to know what I ate for breakfast or the color of Ivy's stool, but you'll find all that and more if you follow me on twitter. Now if only I could figure out how to get a follow me on twitter link on my blog...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Twinkle Twinkle

I'm impressed at how many of you played the guessing game. I wish I could send you all your very own Twinkle Baby. They are the sweetest, softest little dolls. When Bug was in the NICU, he had a brown one in his isolette. Every evening, the nurses would tenderly swaddle him with his little doll. It was such a comforting thought to know that even though I couldn't be with him all the time, he still had something that carried my scent and hopefully made him feel secure.

Alas, only one of you gets a Twinkle Baby. And the winner is....Stacy aka Fahiima! You were spot on with Sy's weight at 18 pounds, 4 ounces. Actually, a lot of you were only one or two ounces off of Sylas' weight, but not one of you was close to Ivy's weight (even I was way off in my prediction). Little Miss Ives weighed in at 11 pounds, 2 ounces, and Stacy was closest with her guess of 10 pounds, 12 ounces. Stacy, as soon as you contact me using the form on the sidebar, I'll send you your very own Twinkle Baby.

Thanks to everyone who played. I hope your day was filled with many green pastures.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Biggest Loser Gainer (a contest)

I've been so inspired by MckMama's bloginess and her many contests that I decided to do a little contest of my own. No, the contest is not to see which one of you has gained the most weight. Though that might be interesting. What I'm really wanting to know is how much my kids have gained. Bug and Sis are headed to their new pediatrician on Friday, and I have a feeling that the gap between their weights is going to close quickly. Do you care to take a stab at how much they weigh?

The winner will receive will win this adorable Twinkle Baby Bonding Doll.

Well not this one exactly. This one belongs to Ivy. Yours will be green and drool free.

To help you get started, here are their most recent weights:

Sy - 17 lbs, 15 oz. on February 17
Ivy - 7 lbs, 14 oz. on February 5

These are the ground rules. Only one guess per person and your guess can't have the same combination of weights as another person's guess. For example, if my mom guesses that Ivy weighs 28 pounds, 3 ounces, and you also think that Ivy has gained over 20 pounds in the last month and a half, then by all means, guess the same weight. Just make sure you don't guess the same as my mom for Sy's weight. Make sense? If someone doesn't follow the rules and two people end up guessing the correct weight for both kids, then the person who guessed first will be the winner. I'll turn off the comments at 5 p.m. on Friday and announce the winner sometime that night.

So, gimme your best guess. Whoever is closest to the ounce for both kids, will win their very own twinkle baby that they can give to their child, niece, nephew, cousin or mom. Hey, you could even send it to my mom, because with a guess like hers, the odds of her winning aren't good.

This contest is now closed.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Green Pastures

I had no idea my husband reads my blog so faithfully. I'm glad he does, because at around 9:45 this morning I got a message from him on facebook ordering me to leave the house as soon as he got home from work. Green pastures, baby, green pastures. I spent the last hour or so sitting on a park bench watching the lake water rapidly melt. It was exhilarating! Can you believe it's almost 70 degrees today? Just a few days ago, we were bundled to the hilt.

I'm not sure if it's because I was able to express how I was feeling last night or because of all your kind words, but today was amazing. It's not as though the kids were doing anything differently, but my heart is changed. I feel so convicted to take time to look for the green pastures that are all around me. Take a look at my two little green pastures from this morning...

Isn't it just like to Lord to show a person beauty and wonder through the very things/little people that make life crazy?! Were you able to find green pastures today? If so, I'd love to hear about them, whether big or small.

All of this thinking about green pastures gave me a new idea for my blog. Did any of you notice the change of my web address? I've been wanting to change the name ever since Ives was born, but nothing has inspired me. Well, I'm officially inspired. KS from Dallas is right (check out the comments from the last post). I've been through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, and I'm now in green pastures and beside still waters. The Lord is beautifully restoring my soul and I'm in awe.

So, don't be alarmed as you start to see layout changes in the next few days. It's still me!


By the way, Happy St. Paddy's Day!

Monday, March 16, 2009


We had our first official "playdate" today and it was so much fun! Two of my friends from church came over with their darling baby girls. The three babies were adorable together, punching each other in the face and trying to suck on each other's hands. I'm happy Ivy is going to have such sweet little friends to grow up with. From left to right we have Hannah, born December 8, Sitora, born January 17 and little Ives, born January 5.

It seems as though we are slowly starting to settle into our new lives. Ryan is getting into the swing of things at the church and I'm adjusting more to having two "babies" at home. I know that according to his age, Sylas is more of a toddler, but if so, he's a toddler who doesn't toddle, which makes things more challenging. We have our good days and our bad. Lately, I've been meditating on Psalm 23 and have struggled with verse 2, wondering why I'm not being led by quiet waters or allowed to lie down in green pastures. I'm usually exhausted and cranky and just a few days ago told Ryan that I wished I could go hunting just so I could sit in a tree stand and watch and wait. Let me tell you, this was desperation speaking. Even though I grew up in Wisconsin, I've most definitely never had the desire to hunt. No thank you!

I digress.

Today as I was sitting in the rocking chair with Ivy, I begged the Lord to make green pastures for me amidst the busyness. I know that life with two small children is going to be crazy, but in spite of the chaos, I want to be a person who is peaceful and one who delights in whatever season I find myself. So, I'm embracing my spit-up stained, showerless existence and holding on for dear life to the hand of Jesus, my Shepherd, my Pasture Maker. I don't want to miss a moment.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Gone too Soon

Between feeding Ivy and chasing Sylas, my Sundays are hectic and I'm not able to interact with as many people I would like. Last Sunday I was only able to talk with a handful of people, and one of those was the daughter-in-law of long time members of our church. She doesn't usually attend the church, so I hadn't met her before. Oh, she was just glowing as she told me that she was pregnant with her first born; a son who was due in May. I loved seeing the beautiful expectancy on her face as she talked about him. Little did we know that her sweet son was going to arrive two days later, eleven weeks too early. He lived for two beautiful days and then went on to be with Jesus. My heart is broken for this family. I well know the pain of losing a child and have been in prayer day and night asking the Lord to meet them in their brokenness. Will you join me?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Rockabye Baby

Our feisty little Ivy is two months old today and let me tell you, I love having a girl. I'm so into the pink and the frills. Hopefully she won't hate me when she's older.

It's been fun to watch her personality develop. Little Ives is very serious and her most common expression is a scowl, but just yesterday she was so close to giving us her first smile. She's also very good at letting us know what she wants, and what she wants is to be held all the time. So, we oblige. I'm not at all into the crying it out method. I know this works for some parents, but Ryan and I have found that attachment parenting works the best for our family. One of the reasons is that we believe infants cry for a reason (even if that reason is just to be held), and at two months of age they're not trying to be manipulating or controlling. Their cry signals a legitimate need and as parents Ryan and I are the ones God has chosen to meet those needs.

Plus, look at that face....

How could we resist?

It's not to say that attachment parenting is the easiest route. It's extremely draining and sometimes frustrating, but it's oh so rewarding. Soon enough she'll be crawling this way and that and won't want to be rocked to sleep and I'll miss the days of her being most content in my arms.

I read a beautiful poem the other day and it gave me the encouragement I need to keep rocking my baby, cuz babies don't keep.

Song for a Fifth Child

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button, and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard, there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.