So, a few people have asked if I'm doing ok. Well...what mother is really ever ok after losing a child? There will always be 5 little voids in my heart that no one could ever fill and I'm ok with those voids. I don't want anyone else to fill them. They make me long for Heaven even more. In spite of probably never being ok, I'm doing well. During this season, I'm coming to a new place of peace and trust in the Lord. I'm at a place of acknowledging that the lives of the 5 we lost, counted (more on that in another post) and they were beautiful, as opposed to tragic. I'm relishing in this very healthy baby girl that continues to grow safely inside of me and I'm learning to love my husband and my son so completely that it often takes my breath away.
Hope this answers your question. I'm ok...and I'm not, and I'm ok with that.
P.S. Thank you for all of your kind words on the previous posts. They mean the world to me.