Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Comparison

Every Monday, during the month of December, Sylas and I are heading over to a friends house to look after her little girl while the nanny is on vacation. She's about 9 months old and is the sweetest thing. It's fun to watch Sylas play and interact with her. He's always right in her face saying, "Hi, hi, hi." The three of us have such a great time playing together. On the other hand, it's difficult for me as I find myself comparing Sylas to her. When I'm alone with Sy, it's easy to be grateful and amazed at how far he's come, but when placed next to other children who are his age or even younger than him, the fact that he is behind is glaringly obvious. It makes me feel sad and worried and guilty. I know that it's just the start and that as he interacts with more and more kids, I'll continue to deal with these emotions. He'll always be a little bit behind, at least physically, unless the Lord heals him of his cerebral palsy and I need to be ok with that. I want to be a mom that NEVER makes him feel as though he's behind and that if he sets his mind to it, he can accomplish anything. Awhile back, when Sylas was hugging both Ryan and I at the same time, Ryan said that if this is all Sylas can ever do, if this is all he ever accomplishes, then I'm the happiest dad in the world. It's true really. I need to remember that what he may be "lacking" when it comes to physical acheivements, he more than makes up for it with his joyful, loving spirit. I'm so proud to be called Sylas' mommy.

10 comments:

  1. Wow. Simple, yet profound. Thanks for setting my heart to thankfulness.
    Hugs from The Murray Crew

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  2. Brianna,
    That was beautiful. And the picture is worth a thousand words. Being a mommy takes such great courage I think. I have to deal with a lot of fears now that I am a mommy. I just remind myself (often) that God loves my baby more than me and the safest place he can be is in the arms of Jesus. Sylas really is a beautiful child. Thank you for sharing him with us.

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  3. So well put. He looks like such a sweet baby. You are very blessed!

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  4. Ryan's words bring tears to my eyes...I am sorry for your sadness...but hope you can enjoy ALL the little things that are BIG accomplishments for Sylas....
    We pray for you guys all the time - and look forward to meeting this miracle someday!!
    Isn't a hug the best thing from a baby?!!!!

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  5. oh Bri. I love your honesty, it is so heartwarming and encouraging. Sylas is one lucky guy to have a mom like you!
    I can't tell you how special I felt when he wanted to go with me last Sunday. Sy- you are so amazing!

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  6. you have such a precious boy, Brianna and you are very very lucky! be encouraged!

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  7. That was a wonderful post. No matter what we just make them the best bubba's they can be. CP is just a word, it isn't what makes them them. It shapes how they do things but it is not the only thing that makes them amazing.

    Great job mom

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  8. I've never left a message, but felt compelled to do so today. I'm so thankful for your post. My family just got home from celebrating my son's second birthday with our good friends, who have a son who is 4 days older than our's. Our son has not started verbally saying words and we are trying to teach him sign language and other ways of communicating, which he is beginning to be very successful at. But when he is with his buddy, who is speaking many words, it is difficult not to compare and feel a little sorry for ourselves. We are so proud of our son for his accomplishments, but long to hear the words "Mommy" and "Daddy." I so appreciate your honesty in how you are feeling.

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  9. I bet none of the babies he meets can match his beautiful smile. He's one of the happiest little chaps I have ever seen. He's a fine little fellow and a great credit to you. With a smile like that he will go far. You have every right to be proud.

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  10. YES....I completely understand. We knew before we adopted our son with Down syndrome that he would be behind (much of which is due to the fact that he spent his first 3 years in an orphanage) - but it's hard to see him next to other kids and realize how huge the difference is.

    So - this post was written quite some time ago - I'd be interested to hear how you feel about this now - 3 years later.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to share. I love hearing from you.

P.S. I'm sorry for the word verification step, but oh, my. I'm getting lots of spam.